The Assembly Part 2

For me it began on Wednesday. Chandola sir was picking people to take part in the assembly and I wanted to take part {it was our last year here so why not?}. But since I have a huge stage fright I decided to do something small and so I gave my name for giving the thought. The assembly was supposed to be on Monday and I just heard in the end that it was proponed {I didn’t care, my bad}. And in the weekend I completely forgot about it {we had gone to Riyadh and with free internet it was hard to remember anything]. I woke up on Saturday lazy and bored as usual and went to school a little later than expected and all was well {I still didn’t remember about the assembly}. Jeremy and I went into the assembly hall and I spotted Kais on the stage {what is he doing up there? And it all comes back to me like a dark prophesy, Chandola sir might have given him the thought and told him to replace me and a voice in my head says it is all for the best leave it and back out*why the heck didn’t I listen to it*while a bigger voice says go up there and give the thought}. I went up there with total over confidence. Kais hands over the thought thanking me for saving his day. I took the paper he handed to me and looked in it {Damn Chandola sir’s handwriting sucks} and Rahul walks over and says I knew you will forget to bring a thought so I brought one I think my sister wrote it {ooohh, sorry for that}. In a flash the vice-principal shows up {the hell he never comes this early}.

The assembly starts {forget about the vice principal just read this thought until you memorize it…..wow you can see everyone from here, there’s Benjamin trying to find his abs FOCUS!!!......Shit it’s the pledge already, how come it never goes so fast when I want it to, FOCUS YOU DUMBASS!!!!!!!......Uday made a mistake, how come no one noticed C’MON!!!!!......Crap my turn already SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!!!!!. Here I am the podium, [I started the thought from here and stammered like a million times] OH MY GOD!!My legs actually froze and my heart seems to be beating really hard I can’t listen what I’m saying SHIT!! I am stammering hell too much, I am gonna die of embarrassment, so far I finished like 3 lines and people have started to laugh really hard, This is not so bad maybe people won’t notice it, you’ve got brown hair how the fuck will they not notice you, don’t know just somehow, you’re an idiot, you’re the fucking idiot[ this mental argument actually calmed me down and I was able to finish with a little shred of dignity, unfortunately I turned crazy then and actually said I REPEAT] What the fuck was going through your head when you said that, just say thank you and leave with that little shred of dignity [I started to make the exact same mistakes and some guy in the crowd shouted GOLDIE ROCKS!!!! that gets to my head and I start to see the funny side of it] nice….fuck it, it’s all ruined anyways so try to inject a little more mistakes, are you retarded, fine whatever} and after I finished and I actually went back to the place where I was supposed to stand a laughing. I knew I was gonna face hell after this but for some reason I was feeling great. Naturally my blunder crosses out everything else and a never practiced before assembly went really well. The vice principle did not mention me at the end in his speech {thank you}. The weirdest part is that when people started teasing me I did not feel bad. I felt great and the teasing did not last as long as I thought it would. And like Rahul mentioned my rep increased because of it.
P.S.- Asian Kung-Fu Generation Rocks!!!!!!!!! And Benjamin is a fag, Rahul is a Nerd and Kais is Kais. And awesome edit on Benny’s blog.
-Sameed’weasel/brownie/panda/goldie…’ahmed