Birthday, Eid and Other Disasters

Eid was the worst. First, I don’t know how many of you know, but I am living with my relatives and my parents are in Saudi and my brother is in Malaysia. So I really didn’t feel like socializing when everyone came over for eid. So I was in my room {or the room given to me}. But everyone starts flocking inside to see my guitar. I played a couple of nursery rhymes {unfortunately that’s all I know.} and they left and one of the cousins, name is Fiza, had broken my nephew {sounds weird but that is my relation to him} helicopter on the first go even before the guy himself tried to fly it and she looked at my guitar the same way and all I said was that it costs 14000 rupees and she automatically ran off. {I was exaggerating with the cost}. Main story-One of my uncle’s-Masood, is a real pain. Once I was telling my nephew {same one} about how to play Counter Strike. I told him to just go and start killing everyone in sight. And I saw him frowning,
Masood - “Did you just say kill?”
{duh! deaf or something?}
Me – Yeah!
Masood – “You should not say kill. Try something a bit less harsh?”
Me- “destroy, devastate, obliterate, murder…?”
Masood – “how about neutralize?”
{right, then we will go and paint our nails, have sleep over’s and do each other’s make-up}
Me-“kay”
He got offended over the word “kill”. Coming back to main point. He saw my guitar and asked me who my inspiration was. {Asian Kung-fu generation, Linkin Park…I know} and I told this one song and I played it. Rahul knows the song-What’s up people {the metal song in Death Note} I had downloaded it off YouTube and so I was playing it in Real Player and suddenly it pops up. A message that says that a software needs to be downloaded for the video to play {the hell}. I chose yes and next moment a freaking stripper show starts on my laptop. I immediately turned the laptop {looking back, I don’t think I should have done that, it made it look like I was the one getting that} He left saying, “I know what type…of songs you are {I didn’t like the way he said that.}and don’t worry I am adult {wha…} too.” And then Fahad {My cousin} comes and say what are you doing? And I told please can you give me 2 minutes. Then I tried to remove it…failed, and suddenly everybody found the room attractive [I mean really why the hell was everybody coming now}. Finally out of Desperation I called Fahad and asked him about it and the way he said did you try to download something…it was like even he thought I wanted to download this {seriously, who would want a cheap crap like that}. And he told me the only thing I could do is format {great!!! When in doubt format} the laptop and till then don’t let anyone near it. But I wasn’t ready to give up. I followed the link on the girl {not to download it…besides it cost 30 dollars, who the f would buy that?} I found the name of the file and deleted it. But the girl was still stripping {it was a repeat process}. Idea-I went straight to Windows Task Manager. Any application that is running can be ended over there. I went to processes and removed the freaking strip show…hahahhaha victory!!!!!

Looking back Birthday wasn’t that bad. I mean no cake {seriously……no cake}, no gifts {the only one was a perfume, and I am allergic to perfumes}. It was degrading enough that I had to play happy birthday to myself. Then the fact that people thought it was my 16th birthday. My mom’s side of the family celebrated my 17th birthday {correct} while my dad’s side celebrated my 16th birthday. Well I mean those amongst my dad’s side who remembered. Fahad and Zeba {another cousin} were discussing my birthday and they arrived at the fact that I wasn’t an year younger to Sadath and Shagufa {Fahad’s younger sister} but I was of their age and hence I was turning 16 and not 15. And these are my relatives……
Then my cousins {twins born on 1st January 2000…weird} had a friend whom their elder brother {Arman} teased by calling her “shit”. I was bored so I did the same thing and my excuse was that I probably wouldn’t meet her any ways. Arman had a friend who had an elder sister. Now Arman was telling the story of Naruto to her and I did not know that. I thought that it was just some guy from his school. So I kept shouting any and every insult that could be said with two kids in the room. When he told me who was on the phone, I told the same thing {it’s not like I am going to meet her.}. Next day after school the 2 cousins came back from school with 3 friends {one of them was the “shit” girl and she stares at me weirdly}, And they all go inside the bedroom and come out with different dresses {they all changed inside…together…must have been a pedophile heaven, Rahul’s heaven} and Arman comes back from school and his friend comes along with his sister {who was an 18 year old hot girl} and even she gives me the weird stare before leaving and all I could think was {@$%^!!!!}
-Sameed ‘need some new nicknames} Ahmed