Most Weirdest/Embarrassing Taxi Conversion

Rahul askd me to post on dis makeshift journal/blog almost evryday...so here goes my 1st.....its sumthn wich happnd a few days back. I had to call home and ask my uncle to pick me up as soon as Shaheen sir’s tuition got over. I forgot and instead of asking for a phone from Jeremy, I started talking to him about Linkin Park’s song-New Divide then Eminem’s comeback album Relapse then Green Day’s 21st Century Breakdown then Far Cry2 and etcetera etcetera. After Jeremy left and I had no way of reaching home I decided to take a taxi. After 10 minutes or so I got a taxi and leave for home. And now here’s the conversation[ T= Taxi Driver & S = Sameed…. ]

T : “Aap kidhaar ka hai”

S :“Bangalore, Karnataka” (* out of politeness I ask him where he was from*)

T :“Bangladess” (*and then he asks me something completely out of place*) “tum shex dekhta hai?” (*Where the heck did that come from?*)

S :“nahin. Not necessary…” 

T :“Tumko Hindi aata hai to Hindi bat kooro” 

(*Fine my Hindi sucks but here goes*)

S :“vahi sab log nahin dekhte hain”………

T :“Tumhara kitna bhai bain hai?” 

S :“Sirf aek bhai…bada” 

T :“to tumhara papa ko shex karna zyada pasand nahin” (*the f**k is wrong with you*). “To tumko kitna bachcha chahiye?” (*F**k you man*.)

S :“main abhi chota hoon to vah nahin sochta hoon.” 

T :“Kitna omar hai toom?” 

S :“16” 

T :“To tum abhi shaadi kar sakhta hai. Wo main sona tha ki amrica main aek ladhki ko 16 saal main theen bachcha ho gaya tha.Tum shaadi kab kareega?”

 (*The hell is wrong with you*)……“Tumhara pass computer hai aur intarnet hai?”

 (*okay if I say I have both he will make it into something big so just say no I don’t have either*) S :“computer hai par internet nahin.” (*Idiot Why did you say that*) 

T :“Computer hai to hoga shex. Mera bhai ka betoo ko computer dilaya jab vah aathveen mein aaya aur 3 maahinay ke baad dechta hai to uss ke pass thatty gb ka phorn aur shex tha” 

(*Holy shit how the f**k did he find 30 gb of videos*) 

S :“sahi mein?” (*Couldn’t control myself*)

T :“haan wo limewire hain na odhar se liya tha aur vo aur ooska beta milkar dekhta tha” (*Oh my god what the hell*)…… “Tum kintni class mein hai” (*finally one word of English right*) 

S :“Barveen” 

T :“To tumko shex maloom hai aur tum aisa bolta hai” (*of course Knuckle head*)

S :“School mein padha te hain” (*Why on earth did you say that*) 

T :“tumko schkool mein dikhata hai?” (*douche bag I didn’t say that*)

S :“school mein padhaa te hain dikhate nahin”…….. 

T :“tumhara pass mobile hai?” {Rahul this where havin an extreeeemly slim cell like w880i comes in handy ...in case you’re wondering why I couldn’t call my uncle it is because mine was outta battery. w880i’s battery sucks}

S : “nahin hai” 

He sees my pockets and of course the w880i is too slim to be noticed 

T :“ek bacchcha tha jo shex dekh raha tha mobile shey mere bajju bethkar. to tumhara pass galfriend hai?” 

(*okay truthfully I still haven’t talkd to girl that is not my cousin* )

S :“nahin”

T :“to tumhara pass hai. Kitney bar kissh kiya” (*asshole*) 

S :“sahin mein nahin”

T :“Tum fashbook par hai” 

S :(*great even this ass knows about facebook well no use lying*) “haan” 

T :“to galfriend to rahega” 

S :“edhar”

T :“kya?”

S :“mera ghar”

T :“theeky gayega”

S :“bye” 

just in case you’re wondering I got off 5 streets before my house I couldn’t take it anymore and then for some reason I wondered if he was gay. But one thing is there he is the only person not to ask or comment about my hair colour after talking to me.

PS-asian kung-fu generation is awesome
Sameed 'weasel/brownie/panda/goldie...'Ahmed